Wet and Wild…

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From a saucy French maid and a 50’s housewife working naked to a serving wench, I have been the most domesticated servant in some category. My clients seem to enjoy the sight of a scantily-clad sexy agency escort working in their home. I can’t think why…

However, the polite request to be a ‘washer-woman’ left me slightly dumbfounded. I wasn’t sure how to proceed, given that I don’t have muscly arms and a belly over my waistband. I had visions of some cartoon-esque dame a la Tom & Jerry, and I can’t say it did much for my libido or self-image. So, I asked what my client meant for the first time in ages.

This client was Henry, a divorced father of two in his mid-fifties. As a resident in the affluent area of Bayswater, Henry described himself as having a natural thing for water, especially water splashed all over the place on a willing participant. He asked me to wear white, tie my hair up and not to wear a scrap of makeup. With these instructions, I arrived right away at noon on Saturday and was ushered to a high-walled garden with an immaculately cut lawn. In the blazing sunshine, in the centre of the patio, was a wooden tub full of suds and, next to it, a scrubbing brush and board.

Henry was reclining on a sun lounger, sunglasses on, regarding me as I stood in the patio doorway. He waved me over and stretched out a hand. As he passed me a glass of Pimms, he explained that he wanted me to scrub the clothes in the tub and get soaking wet. “Plenty of splash, my dear! Give those old flagstones a soaking! And make sure you get it all down your front…”

Well, thank God for the small mercies of a brilliant sunny day. I hauled the sheets out of the suds and gave them a good going-over, slopping water everywhere and mostly over myself. My underwear went see-through, and Henry leaned forward. My top in his view to get a better look. I used my arm to brush my hair out of my eyes, soaking my face and letting it run down my neck. I figured I resembled a drowned rat, but Henry was delighted.

“Peg them on the line when you’re done, will you?” he called gleefully as I stood up to wring out my long white skirt. I was drenched and longing to lie in the sun to dry off. He chucked me a towel and invited me to do just that. Thankfully, his sun-trap garden had me drying off within twenty minutes, and I was able to chat a little about the job I’d done. “Splendid effort…” he said, beaming.”I will have to call you again!”

After changing clothes and getting a hair dryer, I went home to Mayfair to glam up for my evening date with Oscar. It just wouldn’t do to let too many people see me in that state; I have an image to uphold.

Horror dates

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I won’t lie… I wouldn’t say I like scary films. Something makes my brain work overtime, and I get carried away and lost in my “what if” fantasies or complete nightmares! I have always loved a good old-fashioned rom-com or sci-fi film. Nothing comes creeping out from behind you in your bathroom, and kids don’t suddenly become possessed and turn demonic as the sun goes down. I grew up in the leafy and child-friendly borough of Hampstead. I attended school with other generally lovely children and their parents, whom I know would never let them watch anything scarier than Count Duckula!!

Jeff is my client for the day and night, requesting the pleasure of his sexy blonde escort to give him some good old girlfriend experience, and has asked me to come over to his house in Belgravia to eat dinner and watch films. Jeff is a 40-something gazillionaire, and he most certainly likes all his mod cons: colossal plasma screen and surround sound. He has told me that he wants to play a real chivalrous man and woman in a relationship where said man and woman watch terrifying films, and the man looks after the woman as she nestles into his shoulder for protection. Bless him for wanting to wave his you-know-what around and hold me in his big, muscly arms, but I am quite frankly terrified. I told him this was a great idea and I would bring extra popcorn in my best enthusiastic tone. Still, inside, I was already screaming into my pillow at the mere thought of the fangs, creaking doors and candles being blown out by some genuinely horrifying unidentified thing.

I never refuse any challenge or date suggested by my clients, as you well know, but I can honestly say I was so close. Closer than the time Bob took me shopping outside of London on a high street with just a QS and a C&A knockoff shop. You can also imagine my disgust when he told me we were going out for dinner in the West End (cue me perking up) to be taken to a fast food job down a side street.

Okay, nothing will be as wrong as that… bring on the screams of terror…yikes!

Beauty and Brains

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One of the things I love about my job is the wide variety of men I meet.

It’s not all about the looks. It’s not always about the clothes or money. It’s sometimes about the brains, and a lot of the time, that is attractive in itself.

I enjoy talking about politics or the current economic crisis to exercise my brain. Some clients want to have dinner and drinks and discuss current affairs or business with the company of their chosen London escorts. The model looks and designer dresses couldn’t be further from their minds when they took me for a fantastic meal at one of London’s finest eateries. It’s only when we return to their luxury apartments or hotel suites that they want the topic of conversation to switch from intellect to innuendo.

It’s not so much a challenge for me to discuss the worries of the world. I’m an intelligent woman, and, rarely, I don’t keep up to date with the news to understand what the world is up to of late, so this evening’s date with Patrick for dinner and a trip to the theatre will be a fabulous evening of canny discussions and topical debates. Patrick doesn’t want a cheap escort, so he chooses me.

Patrick, although broadly intelligent and prone to the occasional heated exchange, is very witty and great company. He does like me to look as model-perfect as I can with feminine beauty and subtle girly flirting but also to give him a genuine, unscripted run for his money.

Patrick is an intelligent and successful businessman. He is a multi-millionaire and is only based in London once or twice every six months due to his unbelievably busy schedule, flying to Hong Kong and Dubai immediately to expand his ever-growing empire. But when he is lucky enough to have some “me-time”, he never forgets to give me a call to relax. Even if he requests my company to go shopping or to have lunch, we always end up in a friendly debate but always manage to put those differences to the side when we come together to be very agreeable in his beautiful London home.

So, for me, it’s not about the classic Chanel separates and hair tied in a bun, glasses on the end of my nose ensemble to look intelligent. I know I can dress to impress and still hold my own in a mind battle.

I am acutely aware that my model looks to wow my date, but when it’s required. I can be beautiful with what’s inside my perfectly plucked, dyed and made-up head, too.

For the love of chocolate…

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I love chocolate. Show me a woman who doesn’t, but when your date is obsessed with “playing” with the sweet stuff, you get sick of it.

Haz is a regular of mine who loves to get up close and personal covered in milk dark and white chocolate. Our first get-together was in his presidential suite at his Kensington Hotel. He owns the building and lives there, and his penthouse is most spectacular. We went out for dinner, and he wined and dined me like I hadn’t been in a long time. It almost felt like an actual date where the male of the species feels he has to wow and impress his female companion. We ate and laughed and danced when no one else was, and he promised me more dates like this. His apparent penchant for brunette escorts has preceded him, and I had heard from his other elite favourites that if he likes you, he will buy you jewels and treat you like a princess. Still, if you take his fancy, he will let you see his secret room in his humble (cough) abode.

Haz is so camp in his attire and furnishings you would almost assume he is gay, but let me assure you, he certainly isn’t. I was lucky enough to play my own wooing game and snagged myself a few treats from some gorgeous couture boutiques in Chelsea, and then we stumbled across a very well-known but cheaper store to purchase some nice but VERY inexpensive undies. I wondered why we were buying these frilly smalls in under a fiver, but it wasn’t until I saw the secret room covered in plastic sheeting and the bowls of chocolate sauce that I realised that we would be throwing anything we started off wearing away.

So, dinner and no dessert led to drinks and the intention of coffee back at his home, which soon led to “we weren’t coming back for coffee, let’s visit the playroom” for some choccy fun.

On went the polyester set, and out came the choccy weapons. It was fun, but I swear I’m still cleaning out the fruit and nut from places it really shouldn’t have gone…

Our London agency companions know how to have fun, so if you fancy some fun and frolics mixed in with a bit of chocolate, then why not give us a call? And we can hook you up with one of our flirty females, which will make you forget yourself for a few hours – or even longer!! You only live once, so give us a try, and you’ll be hooked!

Job satisfaction guaranteed!!

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Twenty-five days holiday, company pension scheme, private health care policy -.being just another number? No thank you.

I love that I’m self-employed. Regardless of what my job entails, I flat refuse to be a loyal employee for a thankless company. I don’t understand the sickness policy or SSP requirements, the disciplinary process or the lunch-break restrictions. I want to have lunch when I want and for however long I like; thank you.

As sexy as a good power suit and stiletto combo is, I love the freedom and creativity of being a top London call girl. Primarily, the first person I have to think about pleasing for a job is myself. If a client is asking for something out of the question (scarce, but does happen), then I will refuse a date. If I have a gut feeling that I will feel unsafe with a client, I will cancel. But, the intimacy of having a one-to-one or two-to-one “appointment” with my customers does come with complete job satisfaction at the end of it all. That’s because I can guarantee that this classy escort will never let you down.

I don’t think it makes much difference how long you have been doing the job or how much experience you think you should have; being confident and knowing your own body and what will arouse your client is critical for gaining regular clientele. I have many sections to my walk-in wardrobe. Well, it’s not so much of a closet as a room. The beautiful treasure trove that I had made as I extended my trendy and modern apartment in the West End. I have genres if you like. Sexy, dirty, feminine, classy, trashy, futuristic, to name a few. I have racks of underwear, shelves of toys and enough lotions and potions to start my shop. I love the colours, the fabrics, the way everything sparkles and glistens and every single item I have bought works a treat, which is a good job, too, considering the amount of money I have spent!

I love playing Bond Girl when visiting a very classy London Casino or a sexy stranger in an exclusive bar. This week, I do have some dates which involve these scenarios, so I may spend a morning sorting out my treasure trove and also sitting back to admire any new additions which have been bought for me by pleased customers. I never leave a client unhappy and pride myself on a job well done. I do have jewels, bags, clothes, shoes, and beauty products purchased as a thank-you and as an extra for being so generous with my service.

Well, the customers are always right…right?