Elite lap dancer?

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I never thought of myself as much of a dancer. A model first and foremost, an expensive escort, a fantastic shopper, but an erotic dancer? Not so much.

I’ve always had rhythm and been the first up for a dance in a club or at a party, but when Mark asked me to pose as an erotic dancer in one of his private and expensive men’s clubs in Knightsbridge and dance just for him but in full view of all the other punters, I admit I was nervous!

I had all day Saturday to prepare for my exhibition. I’ve done the strip-tease routine for clients and frequented many pole dancing clubs, but this is a different kettle of fish. Mark, being the owner, knows this isn’t my forte. He just wanted to see me in all my glory, giving him more than the average girls do to their customers. I think it’s a power thing; the club owner gets extras and flaunts it to his faithful, panting customers!

My outfit was a good place to start in my mind. Did I want to go demure, sweet and sexy or blatant sex on legs? I chose a glittering sheath dress with full bra, knickers and suspenders to peel off underneath or a leather waistcoat, hot pants and nipple-tassels and thong with thigh-high socks combo. Decisions…

I then did what I’m guessing every woman who has danced for someone has done…I practised with both. I even got into full makeup for each scenario. I did a quick shot of tequila, as I know I would do that evening, to see if that would loosen me up a bit, and believe me, it did!

If I do say so myself, as I revolved and ground into thin air in front of my full wall mirror, I was pretty good, with or without the happy juice. Being a model has the advantage of knowing how to stick out certain parts of your anatomy to full effect. I even invited a fellow escort friend to view my entertainment piece for the evening and got a few fantastic tips from her, too. She helped me decide on leather vixen, tousled my hair, and smoked up my eyes to perfection.

So, to say Mark was happy that night was an understatement. The added extras of letting his tongue touch me in places in front of his elite clientele went down a treat, and my special tip of a platinum Chanel bracelet was well worth the practice and tequila consumption.

Blending in

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Sometimes, when a client requests something very different for them to enjoy, nine times out of 10, it is very different for their escort, too.

Jacob is a very successful and talented songwriter and is constantly jetting off around the world on business meetings and hooking up with artists at their swanky homes or hired venues. He tells me this is all well and good, and he gets to visit some beautiful places, but sometimes he wants to let his hair down and go. Being as successful as he is, Jacob only has a little time off, and when he does, he always makes sure he books some girlfriend experience time with his favourite escort. This usually entails hanging out at his vast Belgravia mansion, just chilling together and doing “normal couple” things before he jets off to New York, Paris, or wherever else the A and R lot tells him to go.

So, with a rare three days off, Jacob has asked me to accompany him to a club in Central London and told me to check my e-mail for an essential list of requirements for his favourite escort. I will tell you that when I read it, I headed straight out the door for an extraordinary shopping trip.

Jacob had requested that we go to a mainstream club, with no VIP or guest list, and blend into the crowd, but blend in with me dressed as any other woman in the club…

Now, this may seem simple, but Jacob insists that I adhere to the high street trends of today, complete with hair extensions, fake tan and lots of bling. I am all for dressing up and having a laugh, but I was stumped for ideas on how to blend in when I am more than used to clubs in the VIP section dressed in my usual designer gear and being coiffed to perfection.

I am far from a snob, and usually, I don’t mind where I go or what I wear, but when you’re going to a mainstream club and under the watchful eye of so many others, I know I have to get my look spot on. Cue internet searches and glossy magazine scouring.

Remember I told you, whatever my client wants (within reason), they get, and I’m sure my TOWIE makeover just about fits into the within reason category…

Secrets

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Rule number one of being a top escort is discretion. Conduct yourself professionally while maintaining closeness with the client to make him feel he is your number one. In other words, please don’t make him think he has paid for your time; instead, allowing him to do so is an honour. It also helps if you enjoy your job, which I do.

Sometimes, I tie myself in knots, being secretive about my job, especially regarding my family. Being vague is tiring because I can never quite remember what lies I’ve told. My mum and dad still believe I’m in PR, although my brother is suspicious. He doesn’t know any London PR executive with a wardrobe as vast or expensive as mine. I tell him I have some high-profile customers who regularly send samples to our offices. He has been to my apartment but never strayed further than my front room – I don’t want him stumbling across the boudoir any time soon!

There are also the concierge and Maître D’s that keep secrets. Bear in mind I have been to plenty (if not most) of the celebrity restaurants, five-star casinos and high-class hotels across the capital. Those who take their job seriously (and have been doing it twice as long as I have been alive) merely nod or pretend they’ve never seen me before. This usually applies to Claridges or The Ritz, where reputation is everything. These men know what goes on, but they never say anything; they keep their cards played close to their chests. The younger ones who don’t care too much give me a cheeky wink or pass me a note with their mobile number in case I need anything. I have taken them up on the offer a few times when I’ve been in dire straits or encountered something unexpected. It’s never what you know, but who?

Being a top escort, I have hundreds of secrets in my head that belong to dozens of men who trust me. They tell me things they wouldn’t say to their wives, girlfriends, mothers or friends. I tell myself it makes me privy to a world, not many women get to see. They long to buy them wisps of French lace and other satin in any other than white to wear anywhere besides the bedroom. As they pour this lingerie into my lap and I parade it around for them, I can’t help but feel sorry for the women missing out. When we act out a fantasy together or meet on the steps of The Andaz for a 5-star experience, I feel like the princess they wish they were treating.

To feel feminine and desired is the biggest secret of all.

Beauty and Brains

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One of the things I love about my job is the wide variety of men I meet.

It’s not all about the looks. It’s not always about the clothes or money. It’s sometimes about the brains, and a lot of the time, that is attractive in itself.

I enjoy talking about politics or the current economic crisis to exercise my brain. Some clients want to have dinner and drinks and discuss current affairs or business with the company of their chosen London escorts. The model looks and designer dresses couldn’t be further from their minds when they took me for a fantastic meal at one of London’s finest eateries. It’s only when we return to their luxury apartments or hotel suites that they want the topic of conversation to switch from intellect to innuendo.

It’s not so much a challenge for me to discuss the worries of the world. I’m an intelligent woman, and, rarely, I don’t keep up to date with the news to understand what the world is up to of late, so this evening’s date with Patrick for dinner and a trip to the theatre will be a fabulous evening of canny discussions and topical debates. Patrick doesn’t want a cheap escort, so he chooses me.

Patrick, although broadly intelligent and prone to the occasional heated exchange, is very witty and great company. He does like me to look as model-perfect as I can with feminine beauty and subtle girly flirting but also to give him a genuine, unscripted run for his money.

Patrick is an intelligent and successful businessman. He is a multi-millionaire and is only based in London once or twice every six months due to his unbelievably busy schedule, flying to Hong Kong and Dubai immediately to expand his ever-growing empire. But when he is lucky enough to have some “me-time”, he never forgets to give me a call to relax. Even if he requests my company to go shopping or to have lunch, we always end up in a friendly debate but always manage to put those differences to the side when we come together to be very agreeable in his beautiful London home.

So, for me, it’s not about the classic Chanel separates and hair tied in a bun, glasses on the end of my nose ensemble to look intelligent. I know I can dress to impress and still hold my own in a mind battle.

I am acutely aware that my model looks to wow my date, but when it’s required. I can be beautiful with what’s inside my perfectly plucked, dyed and made-up head, too.

Who says romance is dead?

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I will enjoy afternoon tea at the Ritz with Stefan, a French businessman who delights in all the finest things in life. He has requested the pleasure of a demure, sweet escort lady for some company over tea and sandwiches and then back to his luxury suite in South Kensington.

Stefan is a very high-class man who expects class and expensive taste. He is on business for three days in London, and we have enjoyed a few dates precious to today’s encounter. He always books mid-afternoon, which is his “me-time” as many of his conferences are in the evening, and they are all business, so I cannot join him and impress and wow his colleagues. He is a very private man and feels perhaps, with a close-knit set of co-workers, they would know he is hiring his date, albeit a lovely and professional.

So this morning, I will be coiffing, waxing and plucking to perfection and choosing my most beautiful designer threads for our midday soiree. I chose a fantastic mix of Chanel and Donna Karan with my La Perla underwear, Givenchy scent and London charm.

I enjoy playing the sweet lunch partner who bats her eyelids and nods agreeably while Stefan sets the world to rights. He wants attention and no element of a power struggle because he is the man, and I am the perfect woman. The only advice I offer is that of any places in London that he may want to entertain clients at a classy restaurant in Chelsea or a Casino in Mayfair. I advise only the best, of course, because if his associates are impressed by my recommendations, it may result in a new pair of Jimmy’s for me!

Stefan is the perfect gentleman, and even back at his hotel suite, he treats me like a lady, and I, in turn, treat him like a man. It is all significantly “Gone with the Wind” romantic.
I think he enjoys the comfort and closeness of a more loving relationship for those few hours. Traditional and polite is a concept that a very busy and successful businessman lacks. I, being the fabulous London escort that I am, can certainly inject some intimacy into his time off.

I have a lot of clients like Stefan who ask specifically for the girlfriend experience and just a few hours of feeling like they are in a relationship. I guess it’s what all busy professionals need to give them some “me time”.