My amazing dates

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Okay, I think everything that happened in New York has just about sunk, so I can share it without getting overexcited and adding the word ‘squeal’ after every paragraph! Jim and I had a brief gap whilst I was in a bar with another client and how he promised me the world, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. His arrogance and boldness were attractive; speaking to me while my date stood 10 feet away was exciting. I see my job as two a   pure ansimplega profession which keeps me in a life of great acquaintances and superb shoppitripsp. Still, every so often, a client will pop up who makes it feel like an actual date – in terms of excitement or emotion or emotion-do not to confuse the two.

So, Jim gave me a little background on himself as he waited for me patiently in my Mayfair apartment as I hunted for my passport. At 46, Jim had pretty much conquered the world of media and had set up publishing houses in London and around the globe, one which saw him net billions in profit a year. He resides mainly in Belgravia (of course) but spends a lot of time in New York without a female companion who floated his boat. He told me he knew while waiting for my champagne to be served that I was something different even by watching my eyes scanning the room, drinking in the other sights and sounds of the wealthy and more affluent more prosperous as told not to pac,k a thing which in my world is bizarre. As a London escort, I have many beautiful dresses, sexy underwear and Louboutins to thrill and excite my clients and that I feel very comfortable in, but he told me not to worry about them. I did, however, contest my make-up bag as when you’re spending 6-7 hours on a plane, a lady likes to freshen up, don’t you know!

So, we went to the airport and bypassed the usual passenger traffic to be ushered to his private and most luxurious jet I have ever had the pleasure of flying on. The pilot and crew were happy, and I should think so too, being that their boss paid them handsomely and treated them with the utmost respect the second we boarded. Usually, I not only crack on the charm for my client and those around me, but Jim was already so attentive that I barely had time to lift the corners of my mouth into a smile in the greeting of the stewardess handing me a glass of my favourite bubbles when Jim gave me the usual envelope of payment and told me that he already knew how worth it I was and that the next couple of days were all about me. I looked confused, so he told me my reputation precedes me, and he would be my Super elite with a twist.

Okay, I feel a squeal coming on; I can’t wait!!!

Blending in

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Sometimes, when a client requests something very different for them to enjoy, nine times out of 10, it is very different for their escort, too.

Jacob is a very successful and talented songwriter and is constantly jetting off around the world on business meetings and hooking up with artists at their swanky homes or hired venues. He tells me this is all well and good, and he gets to visit some beautiful places, but sometimes he wants to let his hair down and go. Being as successful as he is, Jacob only has a little time off, and when he does, he always makes sure he books some girlfriend experience time with his favourite escort. This usually entails hanging out at his vast Belgravia mansion, just chilling together and doing “normal couple” things before he jets off to New York, Paris, or wherever else the A and R lot tells him to go.

So, with a rare three days off, Jacob has asked me to accompany him to a club in Central London and told me to check my e-mail for an essential list of requirements for his favourite escort. I will tell you that when I read it, I headed straight out the door for an extraordinary shopping trip.

Jacob had requested that we go to a mainstream club, with no VIP or guest list, and blend into the crowd, but blend in with me dressed as any other woman in the club…

Now, this may seem simple, but Jacob insists that I adhere to the high street trends of today, complete with hair extensions, fake tan and lots of bling. I am all for dressing up and having a laugh, but I was stumped for ideas on how to blend in when I am more than used to clubs in the VIP section dressed in my usual designer gear and being coiffed to perfection.

I am far from a snob, and usually, I don’t mind where I go or what I wear, but when you’re going to a mainstream club and under the watchful eye of so many others, I know I have to get my look spot on. Cue internet searches and glossy magazine scouring.

Remember I told you, whatever my client wants (within reason), they get, and I’m sure my TOWIE makeover just about fits into the within reason category…

Food for thought…

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Most of the time, my clients want me to be well-turned out, svelte, sexy and, well… arm candy.

I sport all my finest labels (usually within at least two seasons of purchase unless it’s vintage, of course), making sure my hair is tousled and my make-up subtle. Above everything else, I want to look good for me.

So when a client asks me to wear something I wouldn’t mind ruining, I have all sorts of visions. Extreme sports? Quad-biking? Mud wrestling…? Well, maybe not the latter, as that would usually involve two London escorts and a rather skimpy bikini. So, I went for clothes I typically wear when I decorate and tied my hair up in a messy ponytail. It went against all my principles, but when clients call, they call the shots.

I arrived at his sumptuous Kensington apartment bang on eleven o’clock. Usually, my clients can hear my stilettos from a mile away, but wearing pumps meant I arrived unannounced. Jasper answered my knock promptly and showed me through his hallway to a large white room right at the back. The walls were as stark as the tiled floor, and there was a giant dust sheet covering most of the sparse furniture. Set up at the window was a tripod with a long-lens camera being tended to by a trendy young man; Jasper introduced him as his wingman, Mark.

The thing that concerned me the most was there was a long table on the left-hand side of the room. On this table were creamy cakes and tall blancmanges, all decorated with strawberries, cream and icing. They wouldn’t have looked out of place on a hostess trolley at The Dorchester; Jasper stuck his finger into one of them and licked the digit clean. “Perfect,” he said. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my head. I looked first from Mark, looking through the lens and adjusting his shot, to Jasper, who was watching me. With a grin, I went to one of the blancmanges and took a fistful. I lobbed it at Jasper, and the flash went off on Mark’s camera. With almost a guttural scream of joy, my client dived for the table and its contents. Within a few minutes, there was a full-scale food fight going on.

I was covered from head to toe in sponge, cream filling and jam. The floor, walls and even the ceiling had an uneven coating of patisserie goodness. I should have brought a shower cap as a whole trifle upended over my brunette locks. I felt a triple shampoo and condition coming on when I got home.

The only thing I should have had the foresight on was a change of clothes! Thankfully, Jasper lent me a pair of joggers and a jumper for my journey back to Mayfair. But my oh my, what fun!

Double take…

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Apart from my near-miss at Christmas with my auntie’s new boyfriend (who she’s still seeing and I’m still avoiding!) I haven’t been in any awkward situations where it’s been a case of ‘fight or flight’. I count myself lucky because yesterday I received a phone call from Tom asking me to meet him, as soon as I had an available slot, in Café Nero, Kings Road. As it turned out, my available slot was at 10am this morning but he was adamant it wasn’t a date; more an interview.

Dressed casually but in something to hint at my curves and assets, I chose a table by the window and a skinny latte to watch out for my date. For the first time in ages, I felt nervous. Promptly at 10am, a blonde man of around 25 entered the shop. My radar picked up on the eyes scanning the other customers and the absence of buying a coffee. I caught his eye and he came over, confirming who I was immediately. I liked his freckles and dimples and the essence of a man who spends a lot of his time on a rugby pitch. Anyway, my curiosity was piqued so I got straight down to business. What am I here for?

Tom explained that he was one of two brothers – twins. Jonathan was his mirror image but complete opposite and, for their 25th birthday, they wanted to hire a London escort (the same one) who would be up for something different. Thinking of my ghost-hunting weekend, I thought I’m just about up for anything as long as I’m not breaking the law. He looked at me earnestly and said “yes or no?”

We talked money and came to an amount that would be payable up front to cover the two dates. Tom made a call and I pencilled them in – one for Thursday and one for Friday. Then I got a flutter of butterflies wondering what on earth I was letting myself in for! How different can twins be, I wondered? For them to come up with something like this, they must be on opposite ends of the scale. Either that or they have planned the same two dates and I have to report back which twin I prefer. I can’t imagine I won’t be comparing them anyway. And it will be most interesting to discover whether they’re completely identical!

So that is the rest of my week taken care of – two hours with Tom tomorrow in Central London and a contrasting two hours with Jonathan goodness-knows-where on Friday – wish me luck.

Business and Pleasure

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You would think I’d never be lonely or have the ability to remember everyone’s names, given the number of people I socialise with within a week. You’d be wrong. I have some clients who are a one-hit-wonder, a flash in the pan. And then there are my regulars who see me on a specific day or week of the month and treat me as they would a long-distance girlfriend. These are the ones I miss and the ones I organise my life around. And one of these gentlemen is Jake.

Jake is American and flies over every month from Chicago. He owns 50% of a web design company that has a studio on each side of the Atlantic, and he takes it in turn with his business partner to fly out every two weeks – which is where I come in. On roughly the 1st and 15th of the month, I get the girlfriend treatment. Jake and I spend one of the days as an in-call (my apartment usually) catching up, dining on take-out and re-familiarising ourselves until the wee hours. The other day is a proper date – we go into The West End, catch a show and dine late into the evening on Steak and Chips in Leicester Square. I always make sure I wear a skirt and heels as Jake prefers the feminine look on women, and jeans don’t do it for him. I came to realise this during a rather emotional solo in Les Miserables a few months back – except Jake’s hand had snaked under my hem, but his eyes were straight ahead!

So anyway – it dawned on me I would be seeing Jake next Thursday, which is a few days earlier than it is usually. Which also made me wonder what I could do to wind him up between now and then. There’s no point in writing him a letter or texting him – but Skype allows for video calling, and I did have a brand new set of lingerie that had come from La Perla’s Vintage Limited range. I know I know, I said I wouldn’t put any more tiny bras and knickers into my underwear drawer… but they were begging me to buy them, and all that black lace came with a matching shrug. It would have been criminal to refuse.

So I sent Jake an email telling him to meet me on Skype at 10 pm GMT (allowing for the six hours time difference), arranged myself on my bed, hair over my shoulders and told him, “I hope you realise what you’re missing…” That man didn’t know what hit him. Thank goodness we were alone on our computers, and he had blinds in his office because things got pretty steamy after that, and I retired to bed with a naughty grin on my face. Poor Jake had to finish a day’s work distracted beyond anything (he said) he had known before.

So now I’m looking forward to our subsequent encounter and I think I’ll meet him at Heathrow Airport as a surprise. It may be a professional relationship when you strip it back, but there’s nothing quite like mixing business with pleasure.