Blending in

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Sometimes, when a client requests something very different for them to enjoy, nine times out of 10, it is very different for their escort, too.

Jacob is a very successful and talented songwriter and is constantly jetting off around the world on business meetings and hooking up with artists at their swanky homes or hired venues. He tells me this is all well and good, and he gets to visit some beautiful places, but sometimes he wants to let his hair down and go. Being as successful as he is, Jacob only has a little time off, and when he does, he always makes sure he books some girlfriend experience time with his favourite escort. This usually entails hanging out at his vast Belgravia mansion, just chilling together and doing “normal couple” things before he jets off to New York, Paris, or wherever else the A and R lot tells him to go.

So, with a rare three days off, Jacob has asked me to accompany him to a club in Central London and told me to check my e-mail for an essential list of requirements for his favourite escort. I will tell you that when I read it, I headed straight out the door for an extraordinary shopping trip.

Jacob had requested that we go to a mainstream club, with no VIP or guest list, and blend into the crowd, but blend in with me dressed as any other woman in the club…

Now, this may seem simple, but Jacob insists that I adhere to the high street trends of today, complete with hair extensions, fake tan and lots of bling. I am all for dressing up and having a laugh, but I was stumped for ideas on how to blend in when I am more than used to clubs in the VIP section dressed in my usual designer gear and being coiffed to perfection.

I am far from a snob, and usually, I don’t mind where I go or what I wear, but when you’re going to a mainstream club and under the watchful eye of so many others, I know I have to get my look spot on. Cue internet searches and glossy magazine scouring.

Remember I told you, whatever my client wants (within reason), they get, and I’m sure my TOWIE makeover just about fits into the within reason category…

Food for Kings

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London has many sights and sounds, and you can taste the finest cuisines worldwide. Today, a food festival is going on, and I am accompanying my favourite client on an outcall booking to savour the delights.

My driver took me and Jasper to Hampton Court for the food festival I mentioned. We ensured we were out and about by 9 am to avoid the weekend traffic and to meander between the stalls before things got too crowded. The turn-out was excellent, and I managed to sample plenty of wares, which took the edge off my appetite.

And it wasn’t just food on offer. Summer cocktails shaken by expert mixologists were on offer to thirsty visitors, such as ourselves (and I had a little chat with them to discover how hard it is to remember the ingredients off the top of your head. “Very!” (This is the standard reply.) Even with acclaimed chefs (such as Michelin-star restaurant owners Martin Blunos and Ed Baines) who were cooking up a storm, showing people how to cook their signature dishes. It was undoubtedly tickling my taste buds!!

But, I tell you what, by the time lunch rolled around, I was joining the queues for the hog roast. Oh, my dear Lord, what about freshly sliced ham in a baguette? Although Jasper was more interested in the jerk chicken, I persuaded him to take a good bite of my sandwich, and he scribbled a few notes in his jotter to put into his review when we got home to South Kensington.

So why not haul yourself out of doors and enjoy something different over the weekend? There is so much to do in London most weekends, and we are sure you will always find something entertaining. Our 24-hour London escorts love to experience new adventures and make great company. So give us a call and book a fun weekend with a beautiful lady.

Wet and Wild…

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From a saucy French maid and a 50’s housewife working naked to a serving wench, I have been the most domesticated servant in some category. My clients seem to enjoy the sight of a scantily-clad sexy agency escort working in their home. I can’t think why…

However, the polite request to be a ‘washer-woman’ left me slightly dumbfounded. I wasn’t sure how to proceed, given that I don’t have muscly arms and a belly over my waistband. I had visions of some cartoon-esque dame a la Tom & Jerry, and I can’t say it did much for my libido or self-image. So, I asked what my client meant for the first time in ages.

This client was Henry, a divorced father of two in his mid-fifties. As a resident in the affluent area of Bayswater, Henry described himself as having a natural thing for water, especially water splashed all over the place on a willing participant. He asked me to wear white, tie my hair up and not to wear a scrap of makeup. With these instructions, I arrived right away at noon on Saturday and was ushered to a high-walled garden with an immaculately cut lawn. In the blazing sunshine, in the centre of the patio, was a wooden tub full of suds and, next to it, a scrubbing brush and board.

Henry was reclining on a sun lounger, sunglasses on, regarding me as I stood in the patio doorway. He waved me over and stretched out a hand. As he passed me a glass of Pimms, he explained that he wanted me to scrub the clothes in the tub and get soaking wet. “Plenty of splash, my dear! Give those old flagstones a soaking! And make sure you get it all down your front…”

Well, thank God for the small mercies of a brilliant sunny day. I hauled the sheets out of the suds and gave them a good going-over, slopping water everywhere and mostly over myself. My underwear went see-through, and Henry leaned forward. My top in his view to get a better look. I used my arm to brush my hair out of my eyes, soaking my face and letting it run down my neck. I figured I resembled a drowned rat, but Henry was delighted.

“Peg them on the line when you’re done, will you?” he called gleefully as I stood up to wring out my long white skirt. I was drenched and longing to lie in the sun to dry off. He chucked me a towel and invited me to do just that. Thankfully, his sun-trap garden had me drying off within twenty minutes, and I was able to chat a little about the job I’d done. “Splendid effort…” he said, beaming.”I will have to call you again!”

After changing clothes and getting a hair dryer, I went home to Mayfair to glam up for my evening date with Oscar. It just wouldn’t do to let too many people see me in that state; I have an image to uphold.

Push em up!!!

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Like most women, there are parts of my body that I like and parts that I wish were bigger or smaller. I am lucky that I have a model physique and full breasts, but sometimes, a client may want something a little different. I guess by UK standards, I am slim, but my boobs are average, so with all the money I spend on underwear to enhance, push up and generally entice, I do on occasion get asked if I would like an operation to keep them large and in my opinion out of proportion.

I wouldn’t have surgery because I am more than happy with my best escort body, but I certainly entertain the idea of changing my look on request, so I have spent a lot of time and money on specific instant boob job bras to set my clients hearts racing. The joy of this kind of underwear is that you don’t have to take it off in the throes of passion. My clients don’t usually request me to wear it when we’re out underneath whatever couture I’m rocking because four boobs do not look good in the latest Gucci shift or backless Pucci. I go from accompanying them to a fabulous restaurant and flirting with them in the trendiest of bars in my feminine and expensive threads and then give them the thrill of a lifetime in their five-star hotel in Knightsbridge with my push-ups, hold-ups and keep-them-up attire.

Jeremy is a 40-something businessman passionate about the finest things in life. He loves money and flashes it like there is no tomorrow. He has requested the pleasure of my company many times, watching shows, shopping, eating out and entertaining his clients, and he has always made clear that he wants a woman who only speaks when spoken to and blends into the background. But…when Jeremy has booked an all-nighter, he again is specific in his wants, and a buxom brunette who is entirely uninhibited is at the top of his list. Now, as much as I have a good set on me, this is a cause for the super non-surgery undies, and Jeremy adores the look. I like to vamp it up and go all out because I’ve usually been restrained all evening anyway, so really, we’re getting the best out of each other.

My very practised and perfect art of seduction gets Jez going more when my assets lead and enter the room before I do!

Food for thought…

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Most of the time, my clients want me to be well-turned out, svelte, sexy and, well… arm candy.

I sport all my finest labels (usually within at least two seasons of purchase unless it’s vintage, of course), making sure my hair is tousled and my make-up subtle. Above everything else, I want to look good for me.

So when a client asks me to wear something I wouldn’t mind ruining, I have all sorts of visions. Extreme sports? Quad-biking? Mud wrestling…? Well, maybe not the latter, as that would usually involve two 24hr escorts and a rather skimpy bikini. So, I went for clothes I typically wear when I decorate and tied my hair up in a messy ponytail. It went against all my principles, but when clients call, they call the shots.

I arrived at his sumptuous Kensington apartment bang on eleven o’clock. Usually, my clients can hear my stilettos from a mile away, but wearing pumps meant I arrived unannounced. Jasper answered my knock promptly and showed me through his hallway to a large white room right at the back. The walls were as stark as the tiled floor, and there was a giant dust sheet covering most of the sparse furniture. Set up at the window was a tripod with a long-lens camera being tended to by a trendy young man; Jasper introduced him as his wingman, Mark.

The thing that concerned me the most was there was a long table on the left-hand side of the room. On this table were creamy cakes and tall blancmanges, all decorated with strawberries, cream and icing. They wouldn’t have looked out of place on a hostess trolley at The Dorchester; Jasper stuck his finger into one of them and licked the digit clean. “Perfect,” he said. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my head.

I looked first from Mark, looking through the lens and adjusting his shot, to Jasper, who was watching me. With a grin, I went to one of the blancmanges and took a fistful. I lobbed it at Jasper, and the flash went off on Mark’s camera. With almost a guttural scream of joy, my client dived for the table and its contents. Within a few minutes, there was a full-scale food fight going on.

I was covered from head to toe in sponge, cream filling and jam. The floor, walls and even the ceiling had an uneven coating of patisserie goodness. I should have brought a shower cap as a whole trifle upended over my brunette locks. I felt a triple shampoo and condition coming on when I got home.

The only thing I should have had the foresight on was a change of clothes! Thankfully, Jasper lent me a pair of joggers and a jumper for my journey back to Mayfair. But my oh my, what fun!