A couple of days ago, I addressed an issue that I think is quite topical in my line of super elite. It most certainly is judged by its cover territory when choosing a gorgeous blonde or a sassy brunette to accompany you to your function or just back to your hotel room.
So, I’ve given it some thought and decided on a few online dating ads. I won’t take all the credit; I have recently been out with super publisher John, and he thought it would be hilarious to try out a few and see the best approach. You realise I will never actually go live with these; it’s just in the name of fun. John and I discuss my blog a lot over drinks in some fine bars in London, and he picks them to pieces most of the time, so when he saw that I wanted to do a faux dating ad, of course, he jumped at the chance, and this is what we came up with…
HUMBLE:
“BRUNETTE SEEKS MALE FOR DEEP AND MEANINGFUL COMPANY AND LONG WALKS IN THE PARK. I DON’T BELIEVE IT NECESSARY TO BASE OPINIONS ON LOOKS; I’M SEEKING SERENITY AND HONESTY, BUT CAN ADD SOMETHING SPICY LATER IF THERE IS A BOND. I’M NO MATERIAL GIRL. I LOVE THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE: A GOOD BOOK, A NICE BAR FOR DRINKS WITH FRIENDS, AND A LAZY SUNDAY MORNING. DOWN TO EARTH DOES NOT MEAN ‘FAT’. INTERESTING DOES NOT MEAN ‘UGLY’. I AM YOUR ALL ROUND AVERAGE WOMAN WITH VERY LONG LEGS… ;)”
COME AND GET ME:
“STUNNER SEEKS STUNNER. I WON’T MINCE MY WORDS. I’M AN EX-MODEL WHO KEEPS IN SHAPE AND NEEDS A PERSONAL TRAINER TO SURE I WORK UP A SWEAT ON A VERY REGULAR BASIS. BASED IN MAYFAIR, I LOVE THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE, WISPS OF LACE AND SILKS ON MY AGENT PROVOCATEURS AND DINING IN THE MOST FANTASTIC OF RESTAURANTS. NON MILLIONAIRES NEED NOT APPLY. I WON’T DISAPPOINT, AND IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY LOOKING FOR A GORGEOUS NYMPHO, PLEASE ENQUIRE, AND I WILL LET YOU WITHIN…”
HONEST:
” GORGEOUS WOMAN SEEKS GORGEOUS MAN. VERY WELL-TRAVELLED AND USED TO THE MORE EXQUISITE LOCATIONS. MANNERS ARE A COMPLETE NECESSITY, AND GENEROSITY HELPS. TREAT ME LIKE YOUR QUEEN, AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO TREAT YOU AS MY KING. VERY EXPERIENCED IN HOSPITALITY, YOU WILL NEVER BE BORED WITH ME. NEED A TOUR GUIDE FOR MY FABULOUS CITY OF LONDON? I’M YOUR WOMAN…JUST TREAT ME TO A NEW HANDBAG, AND I WILL SHOW YOU THE CAPITAL AS YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE. FUN AND FROLICS GUARANTEED”
So, who would you choose? Because if I’m sincere, I am all three. Just ask my regulars…
